Sunday, January 26, 2014

Emotional Drained

After last weekend, I started the week already emotionally drained and it continued half way into the week. I cried more off and on Monday and Tuesday than I have in awhile. I also decided later in the week that it's ok, and I'm going to stop beating myself up over not always being able to hold it together.

We started off Monday with Jake being fit for a new leg brace that he will use to sleep in. When he has his brace off, his toes drop and his foot turns inward which may be contributing to some of the tightness in his foot and ankle. So the idea behind the sleep split is to keep his foot/ankle properly aligned and at more of a 90 degree angle. I hate that it feels like so many forces are working against him walking better. Tightness in the hamstring, calf and foot; his ankle muscles being very slow to come back; him not trusting his left leg enough to put full weight on it; and some issues he's having keeping his hips straight. So we keep doing what we can to try and help make things better.

On Tuesday morning Todd and I went to meet with the middle school about next year. You may be wondering why we are thinking about middle school now when it's several months away, and the easy answer is we have to. We've spent a lot of time talking about what would be the best thing for Jake next year.  If we are going to try and send him to any school other than the one he is slotted to go to, we have to turn in the paperwork by Feb 1st. Thinking about the transition to middle school has had me in knots for months. There are so many things to take into consideration...What is best for him academically? What is best for him socially/emotionally? What kind of services does the school offer to support him? I've been spending a lot of time looking at schools and thought I had found the perfect one for him. It's geared towards kids with learning differences, class are very small and lessons are geared to how each student learns best. It was about a 1/2 hour away, but I was really excited to go and visit...until I found out the cost. It's more than our mortgage. I just about died, as much as I would love to factor that in as an option, it's just not within our means. So we decided we needed to at least talk to the middle school before ruling it out. It was a good meeting and we got reassurances about many of our concerns. After a lot of prayer and conversation, we've decided that for now, it's probably best for him to go there, especially emotionally. The school may be bigger and there may be 350 kids in his grade instead of the current 110, but at least he'll recognize some of those faces in hall and in his classes and they all know what has happened to him.Putting him in a situation where it's a new school, staff and he doesn't know a soul, is probably not the best thing for him right now.

About an hour after getting home from that meeting, I took Luke to his Psychologist and that was another time for tears. I sit in on the first part of his appointment and we talk about anything that has come up. As I mentioned last week, Luke had a rough weekend and we talked about that with her. Sharing his struggles and questions of his importance to us is definitely emotional. He had a really good session and left feeling better about things.

An hour and a half later, Jake had OT. Crazy day for appointments! He was working so hard and was so focused. He hasn't got a lot of wrist movement back, especially the "drumming" or up and down action. His OT said it's a really hard muscle/movement to come back and it may or may not happen. He should be able to drum, but the movement may have to come from his elbow instead of his wrist. Time will tell.

Thursday afternoon was a second round of botox for his arm, hamstring, calf and foot. It wears off after about three months and he's been getting tighter again. We're hopeful this round will help him and are going to really hit therapy hard the next few months.

We had a nice relaxing weekend and the boys had some good quality time together. Luke has been learning magic tricks on YouTube, entertaining us and teaching some of them to Jake. Jake's been busy making Bronco colored rubber band bracelets for everyone in the family in preparation for the Super bowl next weekend. Both boys (and Todd and I of course) are really excited for the game. Go Broncos!

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