Jake's Turning 11

What was a good day for Jake today was a really rough day for Todd and I. Jake's 11th birthday is on Tuesday and we celebrated it today with a few of his friends. We decided to keep it small this year with everything that's going on and he invited four friends to lunch and a movie.

Most of the social interactions we've witnessed lately with Jake have been one on one. We haven't seen him in a group since we had some friends over right after he got home from the hospital. It was so hard to watch the four other boys be normal 10/11 year olds and watch Jake struggle to keep up. At the restaurant, Jake was still getting out of the car while they all jumped out and went running to the door. Over lunch, it seemed like he wasn't always able to contribute to the conversation. We had some time to kill before the movie and the boys were running around playing tag, and Jake tried to keep up but couldn't, so he just sat on the bench and watched. Even going into the movie, the four of them were quite a ways down the hall while Todd and I walked with Jake. The boys did absolutely nothing wrong, they were just doing what boys do when they get together...talking, running, laughing, being goofy...and Jake couldn't keep up. Most adults we encounter have a lot of empathy for Jake and take the extra time he needs. I've seen a lot of his friends exhibit that as well when it's one on one, which is pretty remarkable for 10 year olds. But I think the more kids that get together the more the group mentality takes over and they just want to have fun and run around. Again, perfectly normal and we don't blame them at all. But for Todd and I, it was absolutely heartbreaking to watch. Right now, Jake is not a "normal" 10 year old boy and can't do what the other kids do. He's having to recover both physically and mentally and at times it just seems so unfair. I would give anything to be able to take all this away from him.

On the flip side, Jake appeared to really enjoy himself today and didn't seem bothered by the things that were so upsetting to Todd and I. Just being around his friends makes him happy and he was laughing and smiling most of the afternoon. He was also able to sit through almost three hours of movie and previews which is huge. It's much harder on Todd and I watching the interactions that are so different than they used to be than it is on him. Because of how his brain has been affected, I honestly don't know how aware he is of all the things that aren't the same anymore. He sees his physical limitations, but I don't know how aware he is of the changes in his social interactions. I guess for now, the fact he may not be entirely aware is a blessing.

As I end the day completely emotionally drained, I'm trying to remind myself to focus on the fact that he had a good day. He's happy and he's here to celebrate turning 11. For that we are blessed.