I ran into another mom from school today who I've known since Jake and her daughter were both in Kindergarten together. We've often talked about how thankful we are that our kids are close to their siblings (her youngest and Luke are also the same age) and the differences between raising boys vs. girls. We got to talking and she told me she's been praying for me to be able to look back and think "Remember when?" It really got me thinking, in many ways we are already there. Jake is out of the hospital, walking, going to school, not fixating as much, getting around the house independently, etc....so there are a lot of "I'm thankful we are passed that" moments each and every day.
Then this afternoon, I was sitting with Jake helping him make a rubberband bracelet and had a "I hate it that this is so hard for him" moment. For those of
you lucky enough to not be aware of the latest craze, consider yourself blessed! :-) Rainbow Looms are quite the thing now and using a crochet hook, small rubberbands and a plastic loom, the kids are making bracelets. (You can see Jake has several on his arm.) Anyway, before his aneurysm, this is the type of thing he would have sat down with, watched a few YouTube video's to get started, and gone to town. Today, he asked me to help him make one. I helped keep the loom steady, reminded him what color band went on next and what step he was on. He confirmed what he was doing with me during the whole process. He was so proud of himself when he finished, as he should have been. He did all the work, I was just there to help keep him on track. It was one of those mixed moments we have so often. So proud of what he has accomplished yet a little sad for what used to be. Watching the effort and concentration it took for something that would have previously been pretty effortless for him gets tough at times.Then tonight, I had the opposite moment. I went up to tell the boys goodnight after Todd put them to bed and Jake met me in the hallway. He decided he wanted to lay out his clothes for tomorrow. Now, this sounds like not that big of a deal, but it was. When Jake isn't wearing his brace on his left leg, he is a bit unsteady and likes to have Todd or I right by him for assistance. I think I've mentioned before that the brace keeps his ankle from rolling and his foot at a 90 degree angle which makes walking easier. We are still waiting for the muscles in his lower leg that stimulate the ankle lift to come back. Anyway, the fact that he got out of bed and walked across the room by himself in only his socks was pretty remarkable. He hates walking without his brace, let alone without shoes. It's the first time since he's been home from the hospital that he's done it on his own and without it being part of his home therapy. It was a pure "wow, look at you!" moment and I had none of the thoughts that "this shouldn't be so hard for him, he used to do it all the time."
I know we will continue to have both kinds of moments, and probably for a very long time. It's just part of the process.
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