My Experiences With A Brain Aneurysm by Jake Morgan

Todd and I have spent a lot of time over the past year and a half wondering what's really going on inside Jake's head. We have talked to him about things of course but still didn't really know how this whole experience has affected him and how he feels about it. That all changed this week with a school assignment of all things.

In Science over the past month the students had to do research on a disease, the final piece was a project that could help someone who has the disease. Jake chose to study aneurysms. For his project he decided to do sort of a public service announcement/advice about what it's like to recover from a burst aneurysm. It was the first time I felt like I was truly able to get inside his head and see what he was thinking. It hit me pretty hard emotionally, I didn't expect to read some of what I did. I asked Jake if I could share some of his paper and he said yes. Here are a few excerpts:

Try not to worry about things, but it’s hard not to. Just don’t think about it. Everything is hard. Everything. Some of the advice I can give is to not be scared. I was. Some things will be hard, like trying to be normal and do normal things.

I was scared, worried, and all I wanted to do was go home. 

It’ll be extremely hard to move your hands, fingers, legs, and feet again, but, if you do therapy, that will help. I know how all of my therapies have helped me with just about everything I do.

I know that there are advantages of having an aneurysm, like getting to know a lot of new and nice people. There are definitely more disadvantages, like not being able to be “normal” like other kids. Try not to think negatively of yourself, think of the bright side, but that might be really hard to do.

The people that might come into your life are occupational therapists, physical therapists, acupuncturists, psychologists, and doctors. Life will be very hard for about a year. After that year, you will have learned how life will be for awhile.

Don’t try to “fit in” with your friends, I mean you should try to be normal, but don’t do everything that your friends do. If all of your friends go out to play football, for example, you should stay in and do what you want.

I know that everything will be hard for anyone who has had a brain aneurysm burst, but just don’t think about that stuff, I did, it doesn't help at all.

Try to do as much as you can to heal, like O.T., P.T., acupuncture, and neurofeedback. These are just some examples of therapies I have to do. Some advice I can give you is to just give it your everything. Use tools that your therapists give you. No matter how much you hate therapy just do it. I know it will help you down the road. I was always told “The road to go home is through therapy”. That was true. I stuck with therapy and I went home. (Side note: that quote was from my dad and on a poster he made Jake in the hospital to help count down the days until he got to come home.)

Don’t think about all of the things that you can’t do, think of the things you can. Never give up on your dreams. Always keep going.

I think focusing on things I liked helped me heal. Family-related things would also make me feel a lot better. My family also helped me feel better about myself, they told me how much I’d improved from the beginning to the end.

I can't begin to describe how reading some of these words hit me. I hated seeing in print that he was so scared and worried. I think I knew it all along, but to have it verified was tough. I also had no idea he realized how important and impactful all his therapy has been. He has this amazing positive attitude with a bit of realism thrown in.

All of this makes me so much prouder of him, his strength and determination. I really don't think it would be possible to love him anymore.