Color Run

I had another one of those amazing and heartbreaking all at the same time moments on Friday at Jake's school. It was their big Color Run fundraiser and all the 6th graders who raised money were out on the track to participate. (The Color Run involved kids getting powdered color thrown on them as they go around the track and end up "colored" by the end.) The more money they raised, the more swag they got... Jake was fully decked out, white wig and everything!

He was so excited to be participating in the run/walk with everyone else. Being able to do what other kids are doing has become really important to him since his aneurysm burst, he just wants to be "normal." Unfortunately, at times it's a double edged sword. While he was there and participating, he wasn't like everyone else. Physically, he simply can't keep up. That's what happened on Friday...

All the kids were out on the field and the coordinators were getting the kids excited and hyped up to start the run. They did a count down, all the kids threw their color packets up in the air and took off running. Situations like that tend to make me a little nervous due to his balance and the possibility of getting bumped or knocked down. I was looking for him as the kids took off and when I found him I stood there stunned. He was running. Actually running. We'd seen him fast walk before, but this was a slow jog. As I watched him my emotions hit me in rapid fire succession. Shock (I had no idea he could run like

that), joy (how awesome, he's running!), fear (is he pushing himself too hard?), and finally heartbreak. He was running as hard his legs could handle and within seconds, he was completely by himself on the track. The pack of kids kept going and he literally could not keep up, he was alone trailing his friends and all the other kids. Seeing that completely broke my heart and with all the emotions hitting me, the tears started. He finally slowed down and walked some, then would run a little more. Within a few minutes, he was getting lapped and the kids were more evenly spread out so it wasn't as visibly obvious he couldn't keep up. It is so hard to watch your child pushing himself further than he probably should be and it just isn't enough. What makes it doubly hard, it a year and a half ago, he could have kept up just fine.

By the time he got 3/4 of the way around the track to where I was standing, I walked up to see how he was doing. He was beet red, thirsty, and sweating. I told him he was doing great, but it was time to switch to his wheelchair. I didn't get any argument. Luke had come with me to watch the race and offered to push Jake which seemed like a better choice than mom doing it. When they came by again, a new friend of Jake's came up and asked if he could take him around. I think Luke was glad because he really wanted to help throw color at the kids. :-) After a few laps Nathan was also wiped out and I asked Jake if he was done. He wasn't so I took him around a few more times. Luke was pretty excited at the prospect of getting both Jake and I with his color when we came around.

When the race was over, they had a "leaf blower brigade" which blew the color off the kids before they went back into the school. I had roped my dad into helping so Jake got all his color blown off by Grandpa. I was so glad he and my mom came to watch and got some pictures. I wouldn't have had hardly any if they hadn't been there. I did get some video of Jake's running towards the end of his first lap (that's Jake in the orange wig) http://youtu.be/vuNZzXe-ij0

I think Jake is glad he took part in the run, but was very aware that he was slower than everyone and not enjoying it with his friends. He got a little sad Friday night talking about it and that's when I wish I had the power to make this all go away. But I don't and sadly, it's just one more thing he has to deal with.